There seem to be a lot of “How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” jokes floating around the Internet, but none aimed specifically for us SQA folk. I have decided (perhaps mistakenly) that this is no longer acceptable. If this decision is a mistake, I'm sure that someone else in QA will report it up as a bug and assign it to me. For better or worse, there is now an SQA set of these jokes, thanks to me. Now, without further ado, let the puns commence:
How many developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None – that’s a hardware problem.
How many software testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Software testers don’t fix problems, they just report the problems.
No, seriously, how many testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, once IT has reset the test automation environment.
How many manual testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to execute a step with no Expected Result using both hands, while the other makes sure that no other methods have been missed.
How many automated QA people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but if they tell everyone, anybody else will be able to execute it on their own immediately any number of times they want and whenever they want.
How many VNF testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? VNF testers have no need to be aware of the underlying hardware.
How many QTP scripters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they need to renew their license first if they want HP to help.
How many SoapUI scripters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to do it through SOA while the other RESTs.
How many HTMLUnit testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? They can’t, because HTMLUnit has no knowledge of layout. And the lightbulb works in the browser emulator, so it must have already been fixed everywhere else too.
How many URL testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 404 – wait, that's an error.
How many eggPlant scripters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but only if pinch and long hold are not required gestures. Otherwise, you probably need a second.
How many Cucumber scripters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but only if it is a defined behavior (which it probably is).
How many Selenium scripters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The problem isn’t changing it – the problem is how to report it and determine object properties. But those are doable, and we can think of the lightbulb as a plug-in.
If you had to choose between Selenium, QTP, and CUIT, which would you NOT want to use to screw in a lightbulb? QTP, because it is the only one that will not let you C# (see sharp).
How many ThoughtWorks Studios people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Still one, because even though they no longer Twist, they still have the same functionality and more when they Gauge.
How many testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb using record/playback automation? They can't do it because they aren't object specific.
How many legacy system testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It depends if lightbulbs were invented before or after your legacy system.
How many Screenster testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There's no need for a lightbulb – the glow of the screen is sufficient.
How many crowdsourced testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 1, but 23 tried to take credit for it.
How many scrollbar testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, just move your thumb.
How many Google testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None until Glass is back in production.
How many DevOps people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it has been automated as part of the process, and anyone can do it by pressing a button.
How many offshore testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Some things just work better on-site.
How many positive testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1.
How many negative testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -1.
How many caching testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The same as I told you before.
How many stress testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 256.
How many SIP testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 200 OK – ACK!
How many Star Wars testers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None – you need to learn to embrace the power of the Dark Side.
P.S. Be happy if your favorite tool is not on this list – it may mean there's no reason to joke about it!
Author Bio:
Scott Andery is an expert marketer, author and consultant who specialize in software testing tools and resources.
